Wow + Role to become to better leader

While when i just wanna blog about today matter, someone called me; " Where are you?" " I was quite shocked that time, i tot he just kidding that actually reached  my house the guardhouse, I was like WTH are you serious, then i just went out.

FML, by wearing my home pajamas, i dare to went out like this!
My god, even my mom said " Where's your image" , surprisingly didn't receive any call from my mom which is quite weird, because the " curfew" till 11.00p.m night. Perhaps, she knew i went out with who ba!

Alright, the conclusion is i haven figure out conclusion! LOL

Wow, tomorrow will be the first time of me conducting the club meeting, kinda exciting and nervous~ing. God bless me, i can do it,i can do it for a better me!Roar!

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Attention

There is one man saying that " Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is STOP giving them yours". I felt that this saying was kinda true for my situation.

As i know you are confusing, i'm also confusing, ended up both of us confusing!
That really mean that you don't have the courage to choose right now.
Perhaps, we met in the wrong time, everything seems so confusing.
I'm so blur with this kind of relationship.

I wanted to tell you that
"trying to think what people think will not be hard if people has the intention to make it clear, but indeed it is hard to guess other people thought when people has the intention of avoiding and hiding it as human has no extra ordinary power to read others mind"

I'm so tired of being the initiative person, i'm a girl, i'm a girl and i'm a human. I can't withstand all those storms, disasters that come over and over me again. Yeah i know right, is not your false, is mine, is my heart, I just wanna say i'm tired to being a silly girl or a thick face girl already! I'm exhausted, I'm tired, perhaps i need some rest.

Seriously, i'm freaking busy due to participate in so many club activities, events, projects, please don't think that i'm acting busy here, even though i'm busy i still spend my times to reply " you" as fast as i can, as i can tell you i didn't do that to my other friends, they may waiting my reply too, but i choose to priorities your message than anyone else. I know i'm silly.

" You" may think i'm crazy, silly, or whatever terms you wanna label me, i just wanted to tell you that i'm tired, seriously very tired. Perhaps you make a right choice,  i know right, relationship can't be force, what i meant here is i like you as my FRIEND!

Perhaps the ways we communicate were already exceed the boundaries of friendships, i do enjoy talking, playing, studying, eating, watching movie, doing projects with you.
But i know we are friend!!! yeah i know that! i will keep reminding myself!

I'm just a girl, i'm just an ordinary girl, my heart is just like the rabbit in front of me, so small yet fragile.
Please give me a clear message next time! Don't killed my brain cells pls!
If i said " i'm fine, i'm okie" i can tell you that i definitely not ok, i need a hug! i need a caring shoulder!

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~Initiative~

Haha, suddenly in this hour, i got mood to write my blog, is so random, is so sudden, and is so LOL~ing moment.

Decided to write about myself at this hour, kinda cool~ huh.

Haha college this photo of my selfies.

I'm who i am, I'm unique in this world, there is no second me on this world, except there were successful cloning another of my gene cloning. Lol

Alright, i'm turning older for the next two months, kinda excited for my up coming birthday, haha because my friends wanna bring me go" clubbing" for my celebration! Nah just saying don't no is a joke or a serious matter. Anyway, been went through some hard times for the past two months. But now kinda relieve that i'm undergone it with a piece of mind and calmness of heart.

If you know me very well, you will think i'm going insane and mad or silly every times  just simply i want make or influence my friends in to be in a happy mood. Life is too short to be miserable, don't spend our precious time with all those emo~ness. Although i understand, once in a while, you will being act with your " relationship, friendship, family matter, academic achievement, working, stress and etc". Is okay to emo for sometimes, but not every times. If not our body cells will degrade tremendously.

Yeah, i'm in a kinda don't no what to called mood now, just feel relieve, no stress for this moment, kinda relax and chillax now. I do believe people who we met come for a reason, either they give you a lesson on your life or they give a precious relationship or friendship in your life. I do appreciate those friends who hurt me before, because after i learnt a precious lesson from them. This is also a growing process in our life.

My gosh, still not in a mood to sleep!!!

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Normal

Huh.. been slacking few days..
just don't no why i'm so freaking lazy nowadays, perhaps due to the " freaking free" schedule of my semester 5 time table?? haha don't no why just freaking lazy...

OMG. OMG he's sitting in front of me...
Surprisingly, my heart beats are not beating abnormally, perhaps, maybe i know the fact that he gave me early..
Fine, is okay, my heart is strong enough to withstand this.
haha, kinda like the situation where we didn't communicate with each others but yet he's just sitting in front of me.. Awww, don't no this called fortunate or unfortunate !


LOL

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Brand New July

Time flies, just in a sudden it come to more than half of a year.
Just can't believe now i'm officially a third year pharmacy student.
I could said is not a easy stage or process to gone through the toughness semesters which was just passed not long ago.
There are many obstacles, many up and down that gone through for the pass few semester.
 I'm proudly to said that i'm gone through the toughness semester ever, but i could never drag along my laziness with me.

But, But, But i seriously don't like this semester time table like having few classes a day instead of whole day learning, I know i'm abit mad or just said i used to " busy" schedule nowadays, as compared to semester 3 and 4, this semester i will say Ohh why are you so freaking free? I don't like there are so many gaps in between classes like from morning need wait untill afternoon or sometimes even evening just to have another class.

Today someone texted  me for a  quite complicated phrases, i could said.
Ohh can you imagine just a short message could drag me thinking so long, what does the message mean!
Just couldn't believe it, it almost killed my brain cells just for the freaking sentences..
And until now i'm still thinking what does it mean???

Alright, should stop here, going to focus thing i should focus on!

Dear July, Please treat me good!

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Panicking

LOL...

I just don't no why i'm so nervous when someone guess everything right about my matter..
Guess he is so smart on guessing or maybe " zhi lian~ing"...

Argg, just don't no why i'm so panic when come to the wrong hours.
panic when he asked me the question over and over again
panic when come to the place near he used to be
panic when he guess everything correct
Okay, should pretend i didn't panic next time! But how, panic is from the sympathetic nerve cell, it is partially uncontrolled emotion..

Omgosh, guess what admiring someone can really make you PANIC! LOL

Sometimes, just sometimes when i received one message or one call from him, can really make my day !
Nahh, just excited for few hours, not whole day actually...
Recently, i like to check my phone notification so frequently, and i think for the past few years i don't usually do that, perhaps, i might reply my friends message for another three days later. LOL
But now seems like things had change, i checked my phone notification so frequently, even i'm super busy but i still spend those little time to check. And and and i like to secretly viewed his fb page although there is no update..

Omg, i'm almost everyday appearing in fb in the "active now" status, but i purposely to on my fb is because i'm waiting him to appear online too..Nahh i know there are many syok sendiri d case here, but i just couldn't stop doing that.

Perhaps, really need time for my recovery process....

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Freaking Same Place!

The story begin with bit and tight of my little memories...

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Time tracked back to six years ago,

I still remember clearly the lrt station which is from my secondary school to the place which i wish to go last time. The duration is almost take about 8 minutes to reach the destination. Last time, with the age almost 15 or 16, i started explore my journey by trying taking lrt to the place where i wish to go!

Ohh gosh, guess six years later, the lrt station still there, but this time the person whom i interested is different. But why there are live in the same area AGAIN!!!Why is the same LRT station again!!! Sometimes, i just don't no why when u freaking think of someone who used to take or walk the place where they usually did, you can imagine that someone was walking there or was doing something there.

I just don't no why, why my freaking heart beat could pulse so fast when i almost near the place!

Frankly speaking, i'm trying to convince myself that don't think so much, don't struggle so much, but my mind, my heart just couldn't do that.Although i'm freaking think that i couldn't think so much that may lead to many side effects like the most popular syndrome INSOMNIA, i'm glad that it haven lead me to other serious condition. Thanks GOD.

I'm used to be optimistic, easy going girl last time, but after the freaking sem 4 holidays, seem like it has change my personality. Now i'm still laugh out loud, i'm still going insane but this time i'm no longer feeling that i'm smile from my bottom of my heart. Now is just SMILE to cover up my loneliness and disappointing or whatever things!!

Okay, well i think i will still continuously give my concern to him although ..... 

 

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The Abnormal Me

It's been quite a long time, i abandoned my blog since  few months ago.
Sorry that i have to said, I'm busy LOL !
I think just an excused to cover my laziness.

Well, it's been quite sometime,
my lifestyle fulled of relationship drama since the ever freaking sem 4 holidays.
I just don't no why things go that way!
I'm usually don't stalk people so frequently, and usually i stalked someone like my bestie, friends whom i concerned, or those freaking famous fb celebrities. LOl. i serious;y don't stalk someone that i'm not interested to, but things don't go what i wanted for!

The feeling of those relationship, is like back to my secondary school day, where i admired the guys whom i fall in love too, I could said that is such a struggling process, it make my mind or my mentally behavior went up to some point of climax. Things such as posted some what called " EMO" status on my wall, as a consequences, my friends such as unimates, secondary school friends, leo friends will personally ask me " Jassie, Why are you so EMO recently". I was like OMG, yeah have to admitted that i'm quite confused and freak out recently but not EMO lol.. and not depress too.

Ohh, recently i make myself busy like a bee, i think more busier than them, the reason being is i don't like any spare time or free time in my life now, if i'm too free or doing nothing, my mental will start torturing me by thinking someone that not really interested on me. Well, i know sometimes, something like relationship cannot be push and cannot be rush, well, i think what i can do now is adapt myself with my current lifestyle. Even my mom also complaint me WHY r u so freaking busy! My uni mates already knew since i met them LOL!

Alright, guess time is the only prescribed medicine for me to cure my current sickness that i gone through on those freaking months. After all, from a girl aspect of point of view, i think my face is thick like a wall, that i could do so many things that i won't usually do.. Oh Gosh, i need a CHANGE in my life now like seriously.

I should focus on my course, friends whom i concerned and the special guy who willing to wait for me for such a long time. And i should stop thinking of him, the disturbance that i make for him, and i know he pretty much not adapt a girl who do such thing in his life like interrupting his lifestyle, and knew many things about him. Oh no, should stop that! Just a friend will do! Is trying to convince myself.

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dREAM

Alice in the wonderland should really woke up from her dream.

No more daydreaming, No more struggling, No more heart beat fast motion, No more up and down feeling..

Everything eventually went back to the normal pace where the place that belong to me.

Although there are some feeling that related to my secondary scene, honestly, it make me anxiety, excited and of cause there is some disappointing scene too..

I shouldn't do that, i make it very clear that I shouldn't think that someone that's not belong to me..

I should just like Alice in the wonderland, she just need to wake up as soon as possible as there is no link between two of them.

Everything is because of the unfaithful feeling, i felt guilty right now but at the same time i felt some disappointing  because of someone!

What should i do, Insomia, irregular heart beat, and also anxiety 

I should not day dreaming again!

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Innocent people who i ever met!

Just can't believe you are the fucking rotten people i ever met!

You like to pretend that you are good to me,

but at the backside, you just like to back stepped people,

you like to fool with your idiot , creative LIE in front of other people,

come on, may i ask you one Question?

How old are you now??

Hey you are twenty plus, but you just simply act like the innocent kid!!

Your attitude, your behavior, your style are just fucking ignorant!!

I know, I knew you are the one who keep on spreading rumor to other people,

Let me just advice you,

You are the ever FUCKING people i ever met!!!

Don't pretend you are innocent, you are not, you just simply a dust in my eyes.

 

 

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放手也是一种解脱

近来，发生了许多不愉快的事，
友谊这咚咚，真的是患难见真情啊！
信任在一段友谊是很重要的，
没有信任，友谊就不再是友谊。
知人知面，不知心呀。
我只渴望有一个知己，
把我的心事，全权告诉她！

所以啊，放手也是一种解脱。。。

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Last Minute Work

Recently, i felt im so lazy,

can't finish works/ tasks on time

always like to delay and delay!!

become day by day, my workload increase tremendously!

Reminder for myself:

1. paint my nails/ cut it in a fittest shape/ lenght

2. cut my freaking long fringes

3. tidy up my messy room which included
a. table
b. wardrobe
c. notes/ books

4. must make some DIY
a. birthday card
b. stocking handmake

5. organize my room / orientation

6. Blog rearrangement

Homework/ tasks
1. academic writing task
2. assignment 2
3. CVS portfolio
4. UTP Folio
5. PBL preparation
6. PSD


Argg so many things to be done, yet i'm still so lazy here!

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