告白记

First time it took me so much courageous to confess with a guy. This is the freaking first time, my nerve went insane i think. So much courage, so much mixed feeling to splits out my feeling for the past 6 months. I couldn't believe it!!


Really couldn't believe it!
I finally step out my first step by confessing with me.
Although is just a message but it's really take so much courage to do so!!!!
I must said i'm so daring!!!

But But But he has no feel toward me T.T
In this case, i have to give up lol!
Everything back to the starting point!

Life must keep going no matter how worst it is!!

I learnt to be a tough gal, i don't even feel anything even though i being rejected!

I must at least feel something right?? But too bad i can't feel anything even though is real hurt!

Stay tough and strong, Gal!
You deserve a better one which you know he's waiting for you!
So stop with all these non sense! How much you need to suffocate again???

Choose the one who love you and not the one you love!
I got a deep lesson today!!

看完了

留言好吗

Why Don't you Try, Why Not Now?

Every times when i met him in any event, i need to use a longer long time to comfort myself, i need to comfort myself by not thinking of him, but not missing him, by not torturing myself.

I'm really wonder, why don't he give a try, why don't he. But i also understand there are something that cannot be force and cannot be push. They always said if they are mean to be yours, then eventually it will come back to you.

But as for my case, although i really know that this guy don't like me, even i had confess with him, but i just can't control myself by not thinking of him. He's not perfect, he's not good, he don't really care the feeling of others, he don't give a damn shit to the person he don't really know.. BUT but but, i'm still fall for him, it has been quite a few months since already!!

I need to wait until when only can get over this????

Along this journey, i knew he's quite flirty also, haizzzz, just can't get over!!!!!

看完了

留言好吗

Some people just can mean to be Friend

Finally, i had come across with the lesson and phrases of " some people are mean to be friend, no matter how deep you falling in love with him"

Yeah, as many friends of mine noticed that recently i'm dragged by my emo~ness. My friends always said" Are you ok, you seems emo". At this point, i had realized that i'm no longer being myself after falling in love with that guy. Why do i said so?? I can no longer find my self in the way of " think positive, everything will be all right", i'm no longer stay optimistic as i did last time. No, it's been a drastic change since i met this guy!

How do i changed?
1. i will sacrificed my precious time even though i'm busy but yet i will still insist to give him my time by studying together, watching cinema, eating, drinking, shopping, reading books etc ( Hello, Mr actually i'm seriously very busy with my study schedule but yet i'm giving some part of my time to you, yet you don't appreciate it) All right, as you said, maybe we are different channel, different frequencies, that's why i always so dumb in getting your message!

2. i being over tolerate with you
I know i being over tolerate with you, i will let you choose whatever places or movies you like to watch. Actually every time he did ask me to decide where to go to have our meals, but i just like the choise he choose, actually i'm quite well known in directoring, my friends always gave me a nick name which is " Live GPS", actually i really did knew some places, but i just simply like to follow your choise

3. I being lost myself

All right, after so many months, finally i can assumed you gave me the answer which i wanted to hear so earnestly. All right, i can conclude that i'm just being a friend of you! That's all

I felt so shameful now!!!As a girl, we really no need to take so many initiative, if the boy like you, he will find whatever matter to let you fall in love with him.


Friend just being friend!
I'm gonna go though this tough process until i can really forget you and let you go from my heart!

看完了

留言好吗

Random Night

Everyone have different living style, different thoughts, different behaviors and also different feelings.
So you really can assumed or predict what's other people thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes, is really hard to read through people mind.
They may appear a happiness and joyful moment with you, but at the back, they may be somehow sad, emo~ness, this is why i said is hard to predict and read through other people, even though the someone that you care so much.

Sometimes, you just have to accept what people can't normally do, and what usually people can't think,
Sometimes, you just accept their cultural, their behavior if you really care them.
I have learnt many sting feelings throughout these two months.
There were many things that cannot be force and push,
If it's really belong to you, no matter what they will come back.
Same goes to if the person do not belong/like you, no matter how hard you push or force, the consequences is worsen than now.

Sometimes, you just have to let go no matter how hard the situation could be
How hard your feeling, your heart rhythm to be recover back.
There was a pretty awesome saturday night, randomly received a message that i would not expect, and randomly have a short nice chit-chat session with him.
Although is just few hours, but i felt super comfie sitting on the ground and have a what called" heart to heart talk" with him.

The night was quite peaceful, we were like kids playing on the shadow, drinking like no one else, chatting back and talking about our recent life, playing phones and more. That night, indeed is an awesome night for me perhaps him too.

I'm adapting everything now, but is not tolerate is somehow accepting a special friends culture.

看完了

留言好吗

Brain + Brand New Day

Hmm, after studied the Central Nervous System Module, i felt that human brain structure are amazed. Dear God can make each of the different lobes of the brain function differently and give signal to our body through various types of signals and mechanism.

Yes, i'm amazed how's the function of our brain work. But at the same time, the more complicated the brain structure is, the more complicated our mentally feeling can be so complicated too. Hmm there are total five lobes in our brain, such as temporal, occipital, frontal, insula and so on. Each of the lobes work differently for the whole human mechanism.

But the problem is why my brain lobes that are so advanced in Broca's area? As this brain area generate human emotional feeling, human thoughts, human feelings, language, understanding and so on. Why on earth, this portion of my brain so " active" Why?? Perhaps, this is also one of the factor contributing to my talkative~ness behavior. There is always positive and negative thinking within our mentally state. The problem is see how you see the " matter" it yourself. If you like exaggerated your feeling towards public - the consequences is " Ohh Why were you so emo recently"? Just because what you post on FB?? C'mon sometimes what we post on FB, doesn't mean what we undergone through it, perhaps, we just simply like the quotes, like the phrases, maybe it suit our feeling or thoughts right now lol.

Phew, July going to end soon. I fell that this month is not a productive month for me! Ohh C'mon Jq you must be productive! Everyday is precious and must fully utilize your time. I myself must remember, once your time gone, there is forever impossible to get your time back! Uhhh, but this month i'm freaking lazy . This month i can't find myself doing the right thing. I can't being myself!! @#$%@#$

Uhhh, exam is around the corner soon, i must really start packing and study !!!Hmm perhaps my library study might be start soon, i must study study study!!!!! JQ you must study, you haven even touch a single lecture notes this month LEH!! =( And you didn't pay attention in class these day!!!!! Keep talking talking talking, gossip gossip!!!! Ulalala!!!! You must study !!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, later going to collect my last one set of minions. I don't no why i'm usually not that type of craze people who will collect all those stuff. But i still simply can't resist it! Since my i had collected 7 of them, why don't collect the last 2 minions? Lol. After the completion of collection, i might either collect it or donate to the orphanage home that i'm gonna visiting them soon ;) Meanwhile, i also got help someone to collect it, uhh you can imagine my whole stomach is fulled of burgers, nuggets, french frieds.. Hmm i'm gaining weight again, is a good sign but my cholesterol level macam abnormal leh ;(


Arggggg, LJQ, u must start study la!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please don't screw your CPC paper la!!!!!

看完了

留言好吗

暧昧

暧昧是一个很复杂的名词，同时也记载着一段复杂的思绪。


曖昧讓人受盡委屈 找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進 何時該放棄
連擁抱都沒有勇氣

Yes, perhaps i don't no what should i do now?
There were too many times i felt myself being rejected, being not appreciated, being silly.
These bits of puzzle can really make a broken heart of mine,
like this lyric i don't no whether i should give up or continue holding some hopes in my hand,
now all my dare~ness is gone, no flirting message, no initiative to find someone, not dare to do any special things for a special friend.

只能陪你到這裡 畢竟有些事不可以
超過了友情 還不到愛情
遠方就要下雨的風景

Yes, and we are now at borderline, neither friend nor couple, perhaps just a stranger sometimes.
We exceeded what called " friendship", but never reach the destination.


到底該不該哭泣 想太多是我還是你
我很不服氣 也開始懷疑
眼前的人是不是同一個真實的你

曖昧讓人受盡委屈 找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進 何時該放棄
連擁抱都沒有勇氣

The best part of this lyric!!
It's make people suffer, struggling, but yet we can't go further.
Hmmm, perhaps is time to pack myself, my feelings, my thought, all wrapped up and put a full stop when the times come.


曖昧讓人變得貪心 直到等待失去意義
無奈我和你 寫不出結局
放遺憾的美麗 停在這裡

曖昧讓人受盡委屈 找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進 何時該放棄
連擁抱都沒有勇氣

曖昧讓人變得貪心 直到等待失去意義
無奈我和你 寫不出結局
放遺憾的美麗 停在這裡

这首歌完完全全在表达着我的思绪与感慨啊！

Last thought before i end my post,

finally i learnt this
" There's no need to rush for relationship, if something is meant to be, it will come in a right time, with a right person for the best reason".

看完了

留言好吗

Confused

I'm freaking confused, same goes to you.

Please make me clear, that you are worth for me to get you or waiting you.

There is no permanent link or stops for everyone.

Is just the time matter.

If you wish to have me in your life, please do something, or else i really don't no i can withstand until when.

I'm a girl, in the past i didn't so ohm in doing so many things for a guy.

I admitted you are special to me, but there is always a boundaries between us!

I'm just waiting that word you will tell me, is either a " yes" or "no", is complicated i know..

I eventually getting tired of waiting it, i have other options still then i still hope that you can give me a conclusion.

看完了

留言好吗

True

有些朋友，會在周一至周五見面，
有些朋友，會在周末與周日見面。



從前，是沒有這種區分的。
朋友，想見就見吧，
甚麼時候也好，
放學之後，放假的時候，
在球場見，去 M 記等，
商場門口、圖書館、 cafe 、網吧甚至遊戲機中心，
任何一天都可以，只要大家有空有心，
與其一個人悶，不如一起無聊，
一星期見足七天，又有甚麼問題。



漸漸，我們不可能再一星期見足七天。
認識的朋友多了，始終需要分配時間給不同的人，
一星期見到一至兩次，已經是很親密的關係了。
然後，畢業了，
我們出來工作，又要加班，
下班之後都沒有太多時間剩下來。
難得偶爾早收工，你可能又會沒有心情見人，
於是我們會越來越少見面，甚至主動約人。



直到偶爾，我們終於想念起對方，
我們給對方發短訊，問，
喂，幾時有空啊 ? 不如出來吃飯吧 ?
雖然大家沒有言明是在甚麼時候，
但我們卻彷彿有一種默契，
這場晚飯是約在周一至周五的晚上。
是等大家下班了，大家都剛好有時間，
才會出來一起吃晚飯。
至於周末與周日，
也許你不是沒有空，也許彼此也是有假期，
但你可能會想，對方應該會留下時間給家人，
或是自己的另一半；
即使對方沒有拍拖，
這些時間也是應該留給更親密的朋友，
去踩單車、 BBQ 、行山游水、打 War Game 、打麻雀、
甚至只是一起去逛街看電影都好 ......
而這些活動，是你們以前會時常一起去做的，
只是如今，你們只剩下一起晚飯這一項活動，
到周末或周日，我們也只會在彼此的臉書裡，
看對方這天與別人約會的照片，
而不會打擾對方。
然後，漸漸，
我們會繼續越來越少見面，
或是發展成生日的朋友，
在彼此生日的月份，才會約出來見面晚飯聯誼；
然後，再漸漸，
我們會變成婚宴的朋友，
在同伴新婚的盛宴，淡然地等待對方出現 ......
然後，或許還有然後，
或許再沒有了，
你知道如果有心，
就算再忙也是可以維繫到一段友誼，
彼此可能也過了那種、
必需時常見面一起去玩才能友好的年齡；
只是如果可以，
你還是會希望在偶爾想見到對方的時候，
能夠直接打一個電話給對方，
說聲，喂，不如現在出來吧 ?
然後對方會立即為自己丟低另一半、
推掉其他人的約會，
大家一起跑到附近的公園或球場，
就只是一個下午也好，就只是這一天都好 ......



這天，你又會想與哪些朋友見面，
這天，你最後與哪些人見面了 ?

看完了

留言好吗

Wow + Role to become to better leader

While when i just wanna blog about today matter, someone called me; " Where are you?" " I was quite shocked that time, i tot he just kidding that actually reached  my house the guardhouse, I was like WTH are you serious, then i just went out.

FML, by wearing my home pajamas, i dare to went out like this!
My god, even my mom said " Where's your image" , surprisingly didn't receive any call from my mom which is quite weird, because the " curfew" till 11.00p.m night. Perhaps, she knew i went out with who ba!

Alright, the conclusion is i haven figure out conclusion! LOL

Wow, tomorrow will be the first time of me conducting the club meeting, kinda exciting and nervous~ing. God bless me, i can do it,i can do it for a better me!Roar!

看完了

留言好吗

Attention

There is one man saying that " Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is STOP giving them yours". I felt that this saying was kinda true for my situation.

As i know you are confusing, i'm also confusing, ended up both of us confusing!
That really mean that you don't have the courage to choose right now.
Perhaps, we met in the wrong time, everything seems so confusing.
I'm so blur with this kind of relationship.

I wanted to tell you that
"trying to think what people think will not be hard if people has the intention to make it clear, but indeed it is hard to guess other people thought when people has the intention of avoiding and hiding it as human has no extra ordinary power to read others mind"

I'm so tired of being the initiative person, i'm a girl, i'm a girl and i'm a human. I can't withstand all those storms, disasters that come over and over me again. Yeah i know right, is not your false, is mine, is my heart, I just wanna say i'm tired to being a silly girl or a thick face girl already! I'm exhausted, I'm tired, perhaps i need some rest.

Seriously, i'm freaking busy due to participate in so many club activities, events, projects, please don't think that i'm acting busy here, even though i'm busy i still spend my times to reply " you" as fast as i can, as i can tell you i didn't do that to my other friends, they may waiting my reply too, but i choose to priorities your message than anyone else. I know i'm silly.

" You" may think i'm crazy, silly, or whatever terms you wanna label me, i just wanted to tell you that i'm tired, seriously very tired. Perhaps you make a right choice,  i know right, relationship can't be force, what i meant here is i like you as my FRIEND!

Perhaps the ways we communicate were already exceed the boundaries of friendships, i do enjoy talking, playing, studying, eating, watching movie, doing projects with you.
But i know we are friend!!! yeah i know that! i will keep reminding myself!

I'm just a girl, i'm just an ordinary girl, my heart is just like the rabbit in front of me, so small yet fragile.
Please give me a clear message next time! Don't killed my brain cells pls!
If i said " i'm fine, i'm okie" i can tell you that i definitely not ok, i need a hug! i need a caring shoulder!

看完了

留言好吗

~Initiative~

Haha, suddenly in this hour, i got mood to write my blog, is so random, is so sudden, and is so LOL~ing moment.

Decided to write about myself at this hour, kinda cool~ huh.

Haha college this photo of my selfies.

I'm who i am, I'm unique in this world, there is no second me on this world, except there were successful cloning another of my gene cloning. Lol

Alright, i'm turning older for the next two months, kinda excited for my up coming birthday, haha because my friends wanna bring me go" clubbing" for my celebration! Nah just saying don't no is a joke or a serious matter. Anyway, been went through some hard times for the past two months. But now kinda relieve that i'm undergone it with a piece of mind and calmness of heart.

If you know me very well, you will think i'm going insane and mad or silly every times  just simply i want make or influence my friends in to be in a happy mood. Life is too short to be miserable, don't spend our precious time with all those emo~ness. Although i understand, once in a while, you will being act with your " relationship, friendship, family matter, academic achievement, working, stress and etc". Is okay to emo for sometimes, but not every times. If not our body cells will degrade tremendously.

Yeah, i'm in a kinda don't no what to called mood now, just feel relieve, no stress for this moment, kinda relax and chillax now. I do believe people who we met come for a reason, either they give you a lesson on your life or they give a precious relationship or friendship in your life. I do appreciate those friends who hurt me before, because after i learnt a precious lesson from them. This is also a growing process in our life.

My gosh, still not in a mood to sleep!!!

看完了

留言好吗

Normal

Huh.. been slacking few days..
just don't no why i'm so freaking lazy nowadays, perhaps due to the " freaking free" schedule of my semester 5 time table?? haha don't no why just freaking lazy...

OMG. OMG he's sitting in front of me...
Surprisingly, my heart beats are not beating abnormally, perhaps, maybe i know the fact that he gave me early..
Fine, is okay, my heart is strong enough to withstand this.
haha, kinda like the situation where we didn't communicate with each others but yet he's just sitting in front of me.. Awww, don't no this called fortunate or unfortunate !


LOL

看完了

留言好吗