Panicking

LOL...

I just don't no why i'm so nervous when someone guess everything right about my matter..
Guess he is so smart on guessing or maybe " zhi lian~ing"...

Argg, just don't no why i'm so panic when come to the wrong hours.
panic when he asked me the question over and over again
panic when come to the place near he used to be
panic when he guess everything correct
Okay, should pretend i didn't panic next time! But how, panic is from the sympathetic nerve cell, it is partially uncontrolled emotion..

Omgosh, guess what admiring someone can really make you PANIC! LOL

Sometimes, just sometimes when i received one message or one call from him, can really make my day !
Nahh, just excited for few hours, not whole day actually...
Recently, i like to check my phone notification so frequently, and i think for the past few years i don't usually do that, perhaps, i might reply my friends message for another three days later. LOL
But now seems like things had change, i checked my phone notification so frequently, even i'm super busy but i still spend those little time to check. And and and i like to secretly viewed his fb page although there is no update..

Omg, i'm almost everyday appearing in fb in the "active now" status, but i purposely to on my fb is because i'm waiting him to appear online too..Nahh i know there are many syok sendiri d case here, but i just couldn't stop doing that.

Perhaps, really need time for my recovery process....

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Freaking Same Place!

The story begin with bit and tight of my little memories...

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Time tracked back to six years ago,

I still remember clearly the lrt station which is from my secondary school to the place which i wish to go last time. The duration is almost take about 8 minutes to reach the destination. Last time, with the age almost 15 or 16, i started explore my journey by trying taking lrt to the place where i wish to go!

Ohh gosh, guess six years later, the lrt station still there, but this time the person whom i interested is different. But why there are live in the same area AGAIN!!!Why is the same LRT station again!!! Sometimes, i just don't no why when u freaking think of someone who used to take or walk the place where they usually did, you can imagine that someone was walking there or was doing something there.

I just don't no why, why my freaking heart beat could pulse so fast when i almost near the place!

Frankly speaking, i'm trying to convince myself that don't think so much, don't struggle so much, but my mind, my heart just couldn't do that.Although i'm freaking think that i couldn't think so much that may lead to many side effects like the most popular syndrome INSOMNIA, i'm glad that it haven lead me to other serious condition. Thanks GOD.

I'm used to be optimistic, easy going girl last time, but after the freaking sem 4 holidays, seem like it has change my personality. Now i'm still laugh out loud, i'm still going insane but this time i'm no longer feeling that i'm smile from my bottom of my heart. Now is just SMILE to cover up my loneliness and disappointing or whatever things!!

Okay, well i think i will still continuously give my concern to him although ..... 

 

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The Abnormal Me

It's been quite a long time, i abandoned my blog since  few months ago.
Sorry that i have to said, I'm busy LOL !
I think just an excused to cover my laziness.

Well, it's been quite sometime,
my lifestyle fulled of relationship drama since the ever freaking sem 4 holidays.
I just don't no why things go that way!
I'm usually don't stalk people so frequently, and usually i stalked someone like my bestie, friends whom i concerned, or those freaking famous fb celebrities. LOl. i serious;y don't stalk someone that i'm not interested to, but things don't go what i wanted for!

The feeling of those relationship, is like back to my secondary school day, where i admired the guys whom i fall in love too, I could said that is such a struggling process, it make my mind or my mentally behavior went up to some point of climax. Things such as posted some what called " EMO" status on my wall, as a consequences, my friends such as unimates, secondary school friends, leo friends will personally ask me " Jassie, Why are you so EMO recently". I was like OMG, yeah have to admitted that i'm quite confused and freak out recently but not EMO lol.. and not depress too.

Ohh, recently i make myself busy like a bee, i think more busier than them, the reason being is i don't like any spare time or free time in my life now, if i'm too free or doing nothing, my mental will start torturing me by thinking someone that not really interested on me. Well, i know sometimes, something like relationship cannot be push and cannot be rush, well, i think what i can do now is adapt myself with my current lifestyle. Even my mom also complaint me WHY r u so freaking busy! My uni mates already knew since i met them LOL!

Alright, guess time is the only prescribed medicine for me to cure my current sickness that i gone through on those freaking months. After all, from a girl aspect of point of view, i think my face is thick like a wall, that i could do so many things that i won't usually do.. Oh Gosh, i need a CHANGE in my life now like seriously.

I should focus on my course, friends whom i concerned and the special guy who willing to wait for me for such a long time. And i should stop thinking of him, the disturbance that i make for him, and i know he pretty much not adapt a girl who do such thing in his life like interrupting his lifestyle, and knew many things about him. Oh no, should stop that! Just a friend will do! Is trying to convince myself.

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